If you are a wink I’d be a nod.
You are not apart of the world- the world is apart of you.
In my silence I meditate on that thought. I found it as fact. Through my young life I have tried to separate this world that exist around me and live in my own existence. But the world is not the evil I have tried to rid. No the evil is my own existence in even allowing it to live. I have concluded that each one of us lives in a world all our own. I do not know if what I see you see too. This being said- I cannot control your world nor can you control mine.
This is hard for me to conquer. I am a bit of a leader rather than follower. Not a bad quality but somewhat disabling for my “in charge” instinct. I want to always be in control ultimately.
Where does this lead?
In the end: I must understand that in my world I can lead. In yours I can only be an advisory. I cannot be angry with your choices you choose. I cannot judge the things in which you do. I am simply a spectator whose opinion is yours to choose if you’d decide to listen to.
So in my world my existence lies. When troubles come it is my own demise. I have the love, hate, and lies. I have the power to only smile. In my world I choose to reign. In my world my happiness will never fade. I must stay true to my views. I must hold strong to what is right for me to do.
I know in my world the rest may not exist, but in my world I’ll hold only the best. Being apart of me makes me apart of you, and that is only our souls decision to choose.
So tap into your wavelength and see mine streaming too and if we cross I hope to see you soon.
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.” Elizabeth Gilbert (via dangertimestwo)
A Post, It’s been a while.
I am currently in Boone NC and about to shower, and get ready for my sister to graduate this even and be off into the real world we call life. I couldn’t be more excited for her and all that she is about to embark on. I came down early with my best friend and have found a hole that has been filled since we’ve been here. It is one of those things you just cannot explain, but I wouldn’t mind one bit being back to where we were two years ago, rolling up every time a light went out, watching movies until the power goes out, and playing games with mans bast friend. Such a wonderful world we create for ourselves. I have been wandering along tumblr and reading different post from different people. An “I told you so” to the tattooed armed boy, and I love you to a soul that is weakened by the state of pain, and a oh hallelujah for the joy of another’s gift to me. It isn’t much to talk about here on this Sunday morning- just an oh thank you life and a big I love you existence for such a dope hand I’ve been dealt to play. This world is such a game, and even when it is hard to see the fun in the pick, it is all worth it in the end. Control what you can, and deal with the rest. This is life- it is not fair. But, trust me when I say- stay positive and believe in hope and the chance of change and I pinky promise your life will start to compare.
It’s almost Christmas, and I wish that all this cheer and goodwill would just continue on past these holiday times. Smile tumblr world. It is way to beautiful out not too.
My best friend, such an amazing person. Would not trade her for anything else in the world. The most fun ever had is when the two of us are together. —Cannot wait for you to be able to walk again Burdie. Oh the adventures that have been put on hold.
Stars from NASA
All of a sudden you are stuck. Stuck with this choice. You’ve already taken the first steps in saying goodbye. You’ve already lent your lips to another. You’ve already felt feelings that otherwise would leave you feeling guilty. You’ve said goodbye- you’ve said all that you’ve needed. Time has been run out for months now. It is time for you to live on. To be who you wish. To not feel the concern of the one who mistreated you. No- it’s not his place. This is your life. You deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. You deserve to go have fun. To be young. To be wild. To be free.
This is the start of yet again something new. Yesterday was yesterday and today is today. All you have is to look forward to what is to come now. You know.. Life is full of mystery. Life is full of beauty. The kind of beauty that you like to touch. Put pressure down and ease the tension. Yes, it is the beauty you like to feel. It’s that sarcasm you’ve missed. The smart ass-ed responses that lead you to turn your lip up. To snarl your brow and then laugh. Laugh at the sheer inconsistency of all of his response. Brilliant- you know so- but brilliance only gets so much. Now it’s time to explore yet again. To dabble your senses into what was once known. Will it only be a night’s smile once more? Or will it be more. Will the stars be yours finally. Will this be something different, or is it all just the same? You’d think the fact of a year gone by, and still there his presence lingers- would tell you enough that maybe- maybe this is just more. Maybe you do truly captivate him, but then again- whose captivation can’t you land? It’s not that question you want answered. No- the question is much deeper. The question is.. is this real? Are you willing to fall through another just to have your heart deceived? Are you willing to break yourself down, to let him in only to yet again be treated the same as all the others before you? Sure the stars are beautiful- sure, his life brings you that much closer, but think reality. Think actualization. Come on- don’t let beauty deceive you.
REALLY is all I can say.
Really? Really is all I can think. You have the audacity to talk about someone as if you do not know it is yourself to pity. Yourself to look upon your life and see that it is not up to pare. I tried. I tried to be your friend. Be there for you, be there and make your tears subside. I tried to coax you to the best of my ability while all the while assuring you that WE were never to be again. WE ARE NEVER TO BE AGAIN. Maybe if I write it out. Maybe if I put pen to paper, words on a screen, text in a message- maybe you’ll understand. As if my respect was already gone for you; even more so now, and I didn’t even find it possible. Do you not see the wonderful people you had in your life. The true people you had? I bet you never thought bringing me into the picture would erase what you have known for some time. It is true, good people deserve good people. Bad acquaintanceship’s will leave the picture, and unfortunately everyone is realizing this. Have I told you? Have I told you you screwed over the one person you won’t get away with wronging? Why do you think no one is around anymore? They all see you for what you’re worth and it isn’t amounting up to much. I told you I possessed the ability to make this hard on you. I can be blunt. I can speak without sugar coating a single word. I can make you feel lower than you already do. NO ONE has done what you have, and everyone around you- even though they have known me for no time- see it fit to look out for me. For them to see my true friendship. You are lucky you have such nice friends. You are lucky even I will not write you out of my life completely. You ARE LUCKY. You shouldn’t have that luck however, but that’s what makes us good people. To try and better you. To try and help you become true. Watch your mouth. Watch your words. YOU WILL NOT talk ill of someone in my life who would drop the world he knows to better mine. WHO regardless of what I’ve put him through on a roller coaster of emotions still fights for my best interest. You will never amount to the countless great things he’s done for me. You will not be him. And while you try and say you pity him. You find his life pathetic, think for a moment. Think of how he has succeeded. How he has been such a good friend. Think of how he always looks out for others over himself. How he doesn’t lie. THINK ABOUT IT. Can you tell I am angry with you? Can you tell that for the first time in all the screwed up situations you brought into my life- this is my true passion. My friends- MY TRUE friends- will not be talked down upon, especially when there is no right to do so. I hope you read this and I hope tears creep and a lump bellows up from within; I hope you feel abandon, because those emotion you should feel. I told you countless times you have your own free will. You do what you choose but you are the one responsible. You will suffer the consequences rather positive or negative. You don’t know how you’ve made me shake. Shake with an angst I haven’t felt in quite some time. I will not allow someone like you- conniving and deceptive- fill myself. No keep your lies to yourself. Keep telling yourself you are better than those around you. But remember. Remember how he handled you taking me. Remember how he brushed away his anger and was the better man. Pity him still? You’ve made things rough for you. You’ve shown a entirely new side. I can’t believe you can conjure these things up to make them beliefs. Especially after what a great friend he has been to you, REALLY? Keep your mouth closed for a while. You might not make another low blow that is completely ridiculous. Man. I can’t believe your audacity. I really had higher hopes of who you are. I really gave you the benefit of the doubt, but that can only be given so many times, and yours have wained. You’ve slowly been losing your strength and clarity and now you’ve flat ran out. I hope you do a better job than what you’ve done lately for yourself. —I don’t even know how to give you advice for your next move. How to go about your next day. You’ve got to figure this one out on your own, but maybe this will help at least a little…
|First| I apologize for being less of a lady just now, but you’ve got to get slapped with some God’s honest truth.
|Second| You really need to sit and mediate your actions.
|Third| You need to make a list. A list of: what you need to work on, what you need to better, what you need to rid, what you need to add, what you need to hold closer to you.
|Forth| Word of advise to hold onto -You aren’t going to be content until you re-examine what you’ve made your bed consist of. Laying in it isn’t so comfortable for a reason D. Pure sexy no bullshit? No.. Rearrange that title.