Go Home & Write
I closed my eyes and like a still frame movie my day played. Glimpses of random thoughts, ideas, pictures, actions- the list continues. I smile at my happenings. I smile at the things I have seen throughout my day. I smile because the day has been conquered. Yet again- I have survived.
I wish in a subtle way I could make that evident. The essence of a smile. When you are put in a stressful environment take a step back, breathe, and smile. No battle is ever put in front of you that you cannot conquer.
I relish the moments of peace amongst stress. I love channeling that chaotic energy and using it in benefitting who I am.
I want to conclude with this bit of advice. Your choice to take or not, but maybe by reading my words it will resonate within you:
When you are surrounded by chaos- breathe. The world is not out to destroy you. It is here to test you and make evident your strengths and weaknesses. Learn from these moments. Learn how to react. If the situation is crazy what better way to handle it than to portray a character of complete poise. Make it look easy! There is never a reason to act out and show the weight of your world to others. Life is not a pity game.
Chin up, shoulders back, and smile
(even when you are under attack)
I feel as though I could type a novel tonight, but finally it is my moment to breathe and let heaven sing me to sleep.
Goodnight from me to you. Sleep wonderfully. -b.
I have to take a deep breath.
Breathe. Come on. Calm yourself and breathe. Just breathe.
I fall into my silence. My world becomes quiet. I dive into my subconscious.
Show me what is to be known. I ask and then it unfolds. Everything leads to another and back again. I just have to keep paying attention. Staying aware is my key choice.
I’ve gotten excited lately. The kind of excitement that sends you soaring through to the next future. The kind of excitement that makes you assume. I have to take a step back or my world will fall under attack. I know my actions better than anyone could fathom so I know what road I am traveling. My history is my lesson and my future is my gift. I allow what comes and take what is left. I can only reap what I sow and nothin else. So I tell myself again. Take a deep breath in. Do not rush your future because your past you still hold. Stop this racing mind from not being surprised.
One day I will be ready. I am still unsteady, but I know my weakness that I hold. I swore I would be better. I swore I would grow up better than I could have wished. I swore I would prove that who I was is not who I am determined to be, and I know my determination will never know myself complete.
I promise to never stop striving. To never give up my smile. I promise to understand every moment is a plan. I promise to unfold what God has in his hands.
My soul is in the right place
With a smile laced on my face
In my silence I trace
And a breath I finally embrace.
I sit in the chair that swallows my body.
So small so fragile, my existence is consumed. Little lady, I dance in my dreams. Smiling contagiously I free my minds desires. I am drifting further in the comfort of this plushness. Snuggling my body into its creases I fade out of existence. Swallowed by the cushions of comfort I vanish.
My mind wonders off on tangents. I cannot stay still in my silence. Always on to the next subject I desire to tame my thoughts. Controlling my focus I meditate on one aspect of my thoughts. But as all the rambles of before, one thought leads to another then another and now I am a juggling act. Ha! I snicker. Silly mind is to consumed to wait. Patience is my virtue, but my mind knows nothing of the still.
How can I create a vision into life? How can I explore the physical thought? How can I make this happen?
As dreams come true I wonder their reality. What is the purpose of understanding all these clues. I am in sync with existence and know the answers, but refuse to accept them until I see them through. Slow down my mind and pay attention to the decisions. Life doesn’t want to take away from me until I make it. Why can I not learn that lesson? I gamble the ways in which I choose to play my games. I know what is to be done yet still my thoughts consume.
So I pause. I pause and take a breathe. Take a breath to still my racing mind. Take a breath to ease my nervous tensing. Take a breath to breathe. That is key. Remember to breathe.
I write in tangents that make choppy sense. I rambles in phases to keep my mind pleased.
I Remember When All I Needed Was You
I just finished the best conversation that I have had in quite some time. It is always great being able to talk with people who have been through their own hell and back and can relate to past experiences and renewal/ growth. My night has been quite the opposite of my morning, and I have none to thank but the good people in which interlace my world. I won’t make this a long post, and I am sure I may come back and just post the entire conversation, but for now.. here is what saved me, and continues to as I walk each day. I hope you find happiness in everything that lays around you because you deserve too. Don’t let the ideology of “This is all there is” stop you from furthering your explorations. MAKE THOSE NEW NEURAL NETS and create some new synaptic connections.
Here is my statement in which creates the days I see:
Life is beautiful if you open your eyes to see past your own thoughts. One simple smile creates a cascade of emotions and reactions and chemical exertions that only benefit you to a better being, even when fake. A breath has been my key however. The one thing I never wanted to take again is the one thing that brings me back down to reality whenever stress rises
Remember to live to the fullest- test the limits- and beat the clock. The world is your canvas- now paint your way around it.